The 2009 Christmas Letter

Merry Christmas to all our friends and family!

This year I decided to mix it up a little bit and not include my annual Christmas Letter with our cards. Why not save a tree or two? So, if you are reading this, thank you! I'm glad you stopped by to hear all the juicy details about life at the RouseHouse in 2009.

We had a very interesting year, to say the least. As a family, we experienced a lot of change and growth. We have been challenged and rewarded and challenged some more. Above all, we have come together as a family more than ever before. 2009 has certainly shown us what is important to us and just how blessed we really are!

One of our highlights has been to watch Claire grow into an amazing girl! Where once stood a shy, nervous Kindergartner, we now see a strong, confident, happy and well-loved 2nd grader. Claire is right at home in school. She was fortunate to be allowed into ELP (talented and gifted program) again this year and even submitted a paper in the state-wide writing contest! When she's not busy "hitting the books" she is enjoying all of her friends and is becoming quite a little social butterfly! She is still very busy with swim team. She is getting stronger and more confident in her abilities every meet and we really enjoy watching her glide through the water and then laugh and play with her teammates. Claire is truly a great kid, inside and out and I couldn't be more proud, or thankful!

Ella has had a very exciting 2009 as well. She turned the big 5 on August 18th, and then started Kindergarten the very next day! As we expected, she is loving it! Ella really enjoys learning and, of course, playing with her many girl friends and boyfriends! She has a very patient and loving teacher who is just perfect for her. Ella also had a great year with her extra curricular activities as well. She continues to enjoy gymnastics and placed 3rd in her gymnastics meet this summer. She also had the great honor of playing the purple gumdrop in the Nutcracker. She is definitely right at home in the spotlight! Besides a few bumps in the road health wise, Ella is still our shining star! Always there to give you a smile or a hug or a laugh, and always there with a hand-drawn picture to enjoy!

Avery, oh Avery! God could not have made a more perfect third child! I'm laughing right now, just thinking about her. She has the greatest personality. Completely full of spunk and spice and pure attitude! She talks a mile a minute and asks questions constantly! She is never without a dog in her arms, usually a stuffed one, but sometimes it's poor Jack (our Shih-Poo). She is growing up so quickly and sometimes my heart breaks when I realize that my last baby is not much of a baby anymore. Avery's highlight of her week is going to school 2 days. She loves her teacher, friends and, mostly, washing her hands in the kid sized sink! She is also quite the little swimmer and tumbler. She definitely follows, very closely, her sisters' paths.

Dave has had a busy year. The economy has certainly not smiled on the car business, but he has had some great opportunities come his way and has landed at a great place. The coolest thing has been how we have shifted our schedules around and really allowed him to take over a lot around the house. If you come to our house in the morning, you'll find Dave up, getting the big kids dressed, breakfast and out the door to school. The three of them have really bonded this fall and it sure is nice sleeping in now and then!

I had a bit of a crazy year as well. I gave full-time employment a shot for half the year. It was a wonderful opportunity and I met some great people. I also realized that it's not the best thing for our family. So, I went back to part-time work as an Academic Advisor at DMACC. I am loving it and have really found my place. I like the balance it allows me at home and "out there"! I am very grateful for the time I have to volunteer at the girls' school and still spend some one on one time with Aves. I am also grateful for my wonderful husband. We will celebrate 10 years of marriage in a couple of weeks, and I can truly say "I've never been more in love"! I think the trials and treats we've had this year were exactly what we needed to grow stronger and closer as we begin our second decade together.

All in all, 2009 has been a wonderful year, thanks to our many friends and family that have walked through it with us. We can never express enough how much your friendship, love and prayers mean to us.

Here's to a healthy and happy 2010!
God bless,
David, Janelle, Claire, Ella and Avery and Jack our newest family member!

There's always one in every group.....

My dear sweet Ella.

As many of you know, Ella has been having some "not so great" health the last few months. It all started a few months ago when a rash appeared across the bridge of her nose and cheeks. With that came complaints of aches and pains. Lots of aches and pains. Add to that, randomly appearing rashes that itch and irritate. All the while she started complaining of stomach aches and fatigue. The worse part was her change in personality. She has been struggling (to say the least) with her emotions. Lots of tears, meltdowns, and general moodiness. She is also tired a lot and just not her spunky self.

We tried to chalk a lot of this up to life changes. Ella started Kindergarten this year and that can be a lot on anyone. But, we just couldn't believe that was all there was to it. After all, she seems to love school and is doing very well. So, we started the "Tour de la Doctors".

Her pediatrician ran a huge batch of test, including a full screen blood test. Everything came back fine. Then we started with the dermatologist. He treated her with steroid cream for 3 weeks, that didn't do anything. So now she will be seeing a rheumatologist in February. Until then, her dr. put her on a strict no-dairy diet. We're going to see if a little Lactose-intolerance is to blame for some of this.

On the bright side, Ella is still growing strong. She is loving school and she is still my sweet, snuggly cuddle bunny. We just need to keep finding her strengths and encouraging her to be strong and grown-up and she'll do just fine!

Please keep Ella in your prayers, and maybe us too, as we have to live with her! : )

My great teacher...

My little Gumdrop, enjoying her bounty, after a wonderful performance in Ballet Des Moines' Nutcracker.


Ella is such a gift from God. I am amazed at what she does, what she can do, and most importantly, what she can make those around her do.

Ella just has this infectious personality that makes you want to hug her. She just makes you happy to be wherever you are at any given moment.

Ella makes me grateful for good friends that take time out of their day to support her and love her.

Ella makes me laugh at just about anything, because, well, she's laughing at just about anything.

Ella makes me want to fight like a lion to protect her from harm and hurt.

Ella makes me want to get up and do more, learn more, create more and live more.

Ella makes me proud.

Ella makes me want to pull my hair out at times.

Ella makes me feel so loved by my family, as they gather together to celebrate her successes and share in her favorite thing, dessert!

Ella makes me want to be a better mom. More patient, more quiet, more curious, more understanding, more fun, and more forgiving.

Ella is my angel. She was sent here to teach me about the good things in life. She is a great teacher!

Thank you Ella. I love you!

Tis the season

Christmas is here! Let's give a cheer. All together now. Put up the tree!

As is tradition here at the Rouse House, the Christmas Tree was put up the Sunday after Thanksgiving. This year was extra fun because all three of our girls are old enough to help.

They love going through the ornaments and finding the one that belong to them and reminiscing about when they got it. Like Ella when she saw her Baby's First Christmas Ornament, "Oh, I remember when I got this!" I smiled, as Ella was a whole 4 months old when she got that, but hey, who am I to say what she actually remembers and doesn't. The point is, she has happy memories. And isn't that what it's really all about!?

I also really enjoyed picking out their 2009 ornaments. Every year I give the girls an ornament that they will someday take away with them when they get married and started their own family tree. I always try to get something that reminds me of the last year. This year Ella got a Nutcracker, Avery got Elmo and Claire got a cute snowman.

I got a little tear in my eye this year as I realized that yet another year is almost over and my babies are getting so big. We say it all the time, but really, where does the time go? I am so grateful for the events in my life that have made me really slow down and enjoy the moment. I am so grateful that I have a God that loves me so much that he's willing to guide me in the direction he chooses, even if it doesn't seem like the path I want.

I am also thankful for the gift of humor. I pray that my children always keep me laughing, as I'm sure they will.

Rouse family shopping for their 2009 ornaments.

Mother all sentimental and glowing with holiday love and cheer.

Oldest daughter picking out her ornament, "Mom! I found the perfect one!"

Mother, thinking of something sweet like a smiling snowflake or peaceful angel, walks over to see.

The ornament: A stocking that says, "Santa, you can leave the presents, but please, take my sister!"

Nice, real nice!

Happy Thanksgiving

Holiday happiness

Ames to see our family and eat and eat and eat!

Playing games

Picking up, again and again

Yelling out the answer (I love Cranium!)

Tree hunting and holiday planning

Happy laughter from the girls, and the boys!

Apple pie, did I mention how good that was?

Never enough time with the ones I love

Kissing my babies goodnight and thanking God for family

Sampling a little of everything. What great cooks I have in my family!

Guitar Hero. Enough said.

Ignoring the occasional grumpyness. Give me a break, I'm tired!

Vicious game of (cards, train, jewelquest, dominoes, fluxx?)

Increased waistline by Sunday : (

No not that Jackie, the other Jackie!

Giving, getting, grateful for you all.

I'm not that old!

It just can't be! This can't be happening! Where did the time go?

My baby is 8!

It's official! We had the "well-baby" appointment today, although I guess it's called a "physical" now that she is 8 years old!

My Claire: sweet, sensitive, caring, kind, strong, healthy, funny, clever, loving, thoughtful, amazing!

She makes me so proud. She makes me proud to be a mom. Proud to be her mom.

She makes me want to do better. To love more, to live more, to watch more, to document more, to remember more, to be more present.

She makes me step back in awe at God's almighty ability. She it truly a gift from God.

I am so very thankful f0r her and for the village of people that helped make her who she is today!

And, most important, I'm so grateful for the village of people that are going to help me take care of her over the next 10 years. Because, as she reminded me, she is "half way to driving". Lord help me!

Here are some pictures from her awesome Waterpark/sleepover Birthday party:

Game Plan

Okay, Team Rouse.
On 4...
Grandma take Ella to dance
Mom frost cupcakes
Grandma take Avery for nap
Dad take Ella to Nutcracker Rehearsal
Mom take Claire to swim meet
Grandma, Dad, Mom head to end zone for birthday party
On 4...
Hut, hut, hut, 4!!

Oh my, there are days when I think I can't handle this game of life. Too many places to be, too many things to do, too many kids to care for. But then I remember, I'm not alone.

I have a great team! I have parents that are always there to help. I have friends with a shoulder to lean on, a phone to cry into, and an extra booster seat in the back of their van.
I have a husband who is actively involved in the care of the kids and house. A husband who gets up early to make breakfast and pack lunch boxes so I can get a few extra minutes of sleep. A husband who empties the dishwasher, just because it's full and makes the beds just because they need to be made. Yes, we are a great team.

But, the most important part is our coach. When I can remember who is calling the shots, who has the game plan all laid out, and who knows exactly how the game is going to end, I don't have to worry so much. I can just focus on my part of the action. If I can spend a little more time in the huddle, in prayer and meditation, my game is definitely better.

Dear Lord, Thank you for being my coach. Thank you for surrounding me with such a great team. Lord, help me to remember that you have the game plan. That you are my defense, my offense and my cheer squad. Lord, help me to be a kind and loving team mate. Help me to be an example of your love, both on and off the field! Lord, I put all of my teammates in your care. I ask that you love and protect them and bless us all. Amen.

They'll make fun of me...

Congratulations to the Rouse girls on filling up their marble jar!

We have a Positive Behavior System at our house that entails a jar, some marbles and good behavior. Every time we catch the girls being respectful, responsible, safe or caring they get to throw a marble in the jar. Once the jar is full, they get a special activity with mom and dad.
Now, before I get too much "great mom" credit, I should tell you this is straight out of their classroom. It works there so why not at home too!

Anyway, the girls filled up their jar and chose to go to the new Waukee YMCA swim park for their treat. Sunday we packed up the swim bag, threw on our swim suits and headed for the door. Until this....

"Mom, I need to change my swimsuit", says Ella, a little teary.

"Why? You have your favorite suit on. Let's go!" I respond.

"I can't wear this. They'll make fun of me." Replies my sweet, innocent 5 year old. Pointing to her Disney Princess pink swimsuit with a tutu ruffle.

I can't tell you how quickly my heart fell. How low I felt. How sad I felt to hear my sweet girl tell me such an ugly truth about our world today. "They'll make fun of me."

Uhg, I hate that! Where does this come from? Why have we become people that A. worry so much about what others think of us and B. make fun of people or judge them based on how they look or what they wear!

I of course tried to reassure her that people wouldn't make fun of her. That she looked great. And then I turned to the important point: we don't care!

I reminded her that the only people whose opinion we care about are mom, dad and God. I reminded her how beautiful she is, inside and out. I reminded her that God loves her and made her perfectly the way he wanted. I reminded her that people that make fun of us aren't worth worrying about and certainly aren't our friends. I told her to keep that suit on and wear it proudly....

Ella looked at me, smiled, and said, "um, I'm going to go change my suit now, okay?"

Oh well! I tried!

The only other thing I can do is try to surround her with people who are kind and loving. I can make sure that I know her friends, that I know who she plays with. I can be present, whenever possible, to listen to how they play and how they treat each other. I can make sure that she stays active at church and in it's wonderful fellowship. I can make sure that she continues to have her special times with grandparents. That she gets treated with all the love she deserves.

Thank you to our good friends and family for always loving my girls no matter what. For being such great examples of love, tolerance and kindness. It really does take a village, and a couple of busy minivans!

God bless you!

Oh boy! Are we in for some trouble....

Here is the latest shenanigan from our dear Aves.
Where do you suppose she learned this? : )

Tell me what you really think

God has really blessed Avery. He has given her so much strength, courage, perseverance, determination, intelligence and a whole lot of attitude.

Here she is climbing into her high chair by herself. I had been taking pictures of the big girls dancing so I was lucky enough to catch her in action.

Enjoy my lovely child's attitude in all it's glory!

Rub a dub dub, my baby in the tub: Avery style

She may scream, she may hit, she may pout, she may spit. She is loud, she is tough, she is spirited, she is rough. But she is my Avery. She is sweet, she is funny. She is loving, she is my honey. I love her spirit. I love her smile. I love her sense of humor all the while.

I love you Aves!

My favorite time of year

Fall is without a doubt my favorite time of year. I love the weather, the leaves, the start of school, the end of hot days, the smell, the memories, the upcoming holidays.

The best part: Halloween. I love celebrating this spooktacular holiday. Now, I know what they say about ghost and goblins and yada yada yada, but I love it anyway. And not for the spook part. I can't stand haunted houses and I've never summoned a spirit, well except for that one sleepover at Lisa's house in 5th grade, but no spirits were listening that night. No, what I love is the season. The dressing up and running around outside eating candy and having a grand time. What other time of year do we do that. What other holiday allows me, no requires me, to buy candy by the pound? Yes, Halloween is the holiday for me.

Enjoy our pics from this year's trip to Living History Farms, one of our favorite Halloween traditions.

I'm sorry, who are you???

There are moments, when I am doing something with one of my kids, or I'm watching them play and I think, "who is this child? Where did my little girl go?" Today was one of those moments.

The Rousehouse was busy, as usual. Showering the two little girls, and mom and dad. Making beds, flipping pancakes, reading books (Ella read an entire book on her own today for the first time, Clifford at the Farm boardbook, we are so proud!!).

During the hustle and bustle, Claire is snapping pictures of the family on her DSi and making them look all funny, thanks a lot for that feature Nintendo, no help needed to make my bedhead look funny. Anyway, I sat down for a breather, or more honestly, I hid under my covers for a few minutes of peace. However, during my brief escape Claire comes over to show me a funny pictures and says to me, "hey Mom, check this picture out. Let's post it on Facebook!"

"What?" I say not sure I understood her.

"Let's post it on Facebook, mom" she answers.

"Facebook? What do you mean?" I ask. Still not understanding this teenage talk from my 7 3/4 year old.

"Facebook, mom. On the computer. You can just click on this F here and go straight to it. We can post it on your page." Answers my daughter like that's a totally normal thing for a second grader to say.

"How do you know about Facebook!" I ask. Ready to call the school and complain.

"Mom, everyone knows about Facebook. You know, you're on it all the time on your Blackberry!"

"Oh ,that Facebook" I say. Busted!!

They just don't miss a thing. So, I punched in my parental code to access the internet on her DSi, thanking those great people at Nintendo for that handy feature, and we, my daughter and me, uploaded our first picture together on FB.

"I'm sorry, but who are you??? Where has my baby gone!"

Tradition.....tradition, dum du du du du du du

"Who day and night must scramble for a living, feed his wife and children, say the daily prayer? And who has the right as master of the house, to have the final word at home?
Tradition.....tradition!"

Okay, Okay! I'll stop. I would just like to go on record saying that Fiddler on the Roof is my all time favorite musical performance!

But, that's not what this post is about. It's about tradition, as in family tradition. As in the that thing that guide my house, my daily happenings, my weekly happenings and, more importantly, equality amongst my children.

As is tradition in our family, Avery got her first haircut right after her 2nd birthday, whether she needed it or not! She loved it! As you can see from the pictures....

Here's the thing about Traditions though. They help me parent. They help me remember what to do next, in the big scheme of things. For example: first haircuts, Halloween pictures, Birthday muffins, School pictures in front of the same door every year, our Easter Party, Friday nights at Grandma's, Tuesday Night Family night, the homework chairs.... the list could go on and on.

Sometimes I think, "why do I do this? Every year the same thing." But then I remember my family traditions growing up and it still give me a warm feeling inside, a small smile on my face and a renewed vigor to haul out those decorations and prepare for the holiday, or whatever Tradition faces me next.

The best part? Not only am I creating those warm memories for my kids (well, hopefully. As long as they can overlook my sometimes demanding, perfectionist way of making those traditions happen. Come on people, move!) I am also providing some stability, some peace of mind in knowing what comes next. In the crazy world we live in, with things changing around us sometimes too quickly and too often, it's nice to know that when you wake up on your birthday, you get muffins!

To all of my friends, who stick my those Traditions with the same zeal as me, fiddles off to you!

Happy Day Indeed

Yes, I'm smiling again. A big, fat, happy smile. I'm home with my babies again!
First, I want to say thank you to my friends and family who helped me so much in my transition into the workforce, and then back out again!
Second, I want to say thank you to all of my dear friends who go to work everyday and then come home and do a rock star job of taking care of their little ones. You are great examples of all we can do.
Third, I want to thank my dear, dear hubby for helping me realize my priorities and my needs.
Lessons learned. Hearts revealed. Experience gained. Enough said about that. On to better things!



I am very fortunate to be back at DMACC, doing some part time work. I really love it here. I love what I do! What a great feeling!
The best part... Avery gets to come with me 2 days a week. She gets to go to "school" at the DMACC child development center. She loves it! She is so cute!! She takes a nap on a cot, serves her own food, drinks out of a big girl cup, hangs her own coat up and puts her lovey in her cubby.
She washes her hands, often! I love watching her. They have one-way mirrored observation booths so you can go and watch, unnoticed. It is hilarious what kids do when they don't know they're being watched! Priceless!!


The other new highlight of my day is "homework time". When my girls get home from school they each grab their "homework chair", which is one of the stools at the kitchen island, and we do homework together. It is such a great time for the 3 of us to bond. I love hearing about their day, their friends, lunch and the always exciting bus ride!


Finally, I get to pick up my house every night, then head upstairs to snuggle with my husband and look forward to another day. What a great feeling!


Lessons learned this last year:
Budget shopping
I don't know God's plan
I don't know what's best for me or my family all of the time
I have to walk through the crap to appreciate the beauty
I have to be reminded sometimes of what matters most to me
Life isn't always easy or fair or good, but God is!
Just because things aren't going they way I think they should doesn't me I can't be happy. I can be as happy as I choose to be at any time.


Lessons I hope to learn this year:
How to be an awesome Aunt.... I can't wait!!!
How to slow down and enjoy the moment
How to cook

2 down, 1 to go....

"The bus is here, the bus is here!"

Claire and Ella headed off to school for the 09-10 school year.

I absolutely cannot believe that I have 2 kids in grade school.

And more than that, I can't believe my baby Ella is out on her own, in school, as we speak.

Where does the time go?

Claire was excited to start 2nd grade.

She enjoys school so much and I think she'll have a great year.

She know a lot of kids in her class this year, unlike years past, so that's fun.

Claire has a great teacher, Mrs. Julseth.

I'm excited to watch Claire grow this year!

Ella started Kindergarten this year. She is definitely ready! I was not so ready, but it's not about me! Ella was so excited to go to school she was up and dressed before I even made it to the shower. She couldn't ride the bus with the big kids the first 2 days because Kindergarteners do transition days, but she got to go all day today.

Ella is going to do great! I can't wait to post all the cute things she says and does and all the amazing discoveries she's going to make along the way.

As for Avery, she has a few more years. But in the meantime, she gets to play, tumble, sing, swim and nap. Not a bad gig!

As for mom, I'm just putting one foot in front of the other. I'm excited about the school year starting, fall coming and life continuing to change.

I thank God today for opening my eyes to the things that matter the most to me. I plan to spend this school year watching for and finding all the great things happening around me. I am truly blessed.

I hope you and your kids all have a great year and I promise to get back to posting the ups, downs and all-around fun times happening at the Rouse House!

The exciting days of our lives.....

Wow! So much has happened since I last posted.

Where to begin:

* Janelle has finally adjusted to full-time work. Apologies to all of those who had to work through that with me. It was not the easiest adjustment, but they never are. I'm glad to say I now get up every morning by 6:45 without too much trouble. I am now able to come home every afternoon and not complain the entire evening about having to go back. I have even learned how to run errands and go to kid's activities in the evening and still find time for house chores and hubby time. Who knew there was so much more time in the evening when you don't spend it complaining and wishing for more!

* Ella Grace graduated from Preschool. Yes, my baby #2 is heading off to Kindergarten this fall, just one day after she turns 5!

I have a very hard time believing that my little baby, my red-headed little spitfire, my snuggle bug, the light of my life, is going off to the big K.

Claire completed 1st grade with flying colors. She is such a kind and

caring girl. We are very proud of her. I wish I could have the empathy I see in her.

She is also our most sensitive. Of the three girls, she had the hardest time adjusting to me going back to work. I think that because she has

had me home all her life, and is old enough to know the difference, she

really struggled with me being gone in the morning. I usually get home

soon after her, but it was the mornings that she struggled with the most.

I also had to learn to balance work and volunteering at her school. As

home room mom I had responsibilities, but as Claire's mom I had to

"be there". She wanted to see me in the classroom, laminating and cutting, like I used to. I learned that taking 2 hours out of my day to "volunteer" in her classroom was well worth the cost to make her feel better, and me too!

And Avery, well, Avery is Avery. Sweet, funny as can be, TROUBLE, cuddly, daring, brave, smart, curious, couragous,

tricky, talented, hilarious, vibrant, a blessing from God.

She definitely completes our family... Yes, I am NOT having any more kids!

Avery makes the world a better and place and to be able to be a part of that, to watch that happen as she grows, is truly something this working mom does not deserve!

Blessings to you all.

Love,

j

April Fool's Day

April Fool's

That is what I found, printed in my adorable 7 year old's writing, on a piece of paper in my shower. What I did not find... any of my shampoo, conditioner or soap!

The little stinker played an April Fool's joke on me! How clever is she?!

Claire amazes me. Mostly I'm amazed that God gave her to me. When I was growing up I knew I wanted to be a mom. I desperately wanted that experience of unconditional love. I always knew that I wanted to be a mom, I was just never sure that I would be a good mom.

I have struggled all my "mom life" with fears around parenting. I fear that I'm too harsh, too lenient, too demanding, too strict, not strict enough, I offer too much praise, not enough praise, you know the list. I always doubt my abilities, my "God-given" motherly instincts.

I have always been so scared that my daughter would be hurt. That she would suffer in some way. That friends would be mean to her. Boys would break her heart. Failure would find her in someway.

I thought that if I was a good enough mom, if I planned all the right activities, sent her to the right preschool and camps, joined the right playgroups, attended enough PTO meetings, that I could protect her from harm.

What an exhausting way to parent! I have been praying about this for years. Asking God to help me protect her. To help me parent her in a way that would guide her down the right path. And always, at the end of my prayers, every night, I say, "Please instill in my children the desire to know and do your will".

As you know, I went back to work full-time a little over a month ago. Part of that process has been letting some stuff go. I can't do it all. One thing I've been letting go is my "control" over my kids. What I thought was a sacrafice, is turning out to be a gift.

It turns out that I was asking God to help me with my parenting, but I didn't actually move over to let him in. I was asking him to work through my children, but then I was still trying to carrying the burden myself. He's been trying, I was just too busy controling to notice.

What happens when I let go a little? Claire begins to find her own way!

She is growing in confidence. She is challenging herself in school. She's "bragging" about her accomplishments. She is accepting challenges and rewarding herself.

She is finding God all on her own!

Here is her sweet story: A few nights ago she started reading her My First Study Bible again. She was reading it last night at bedtime and asked for 10 more minutes. I said sure and she asked me to come get her when the time was up. I head downstairs to do my stuff. 1 hour later, my Claire comes downstairs, "Mom! You forgot to come get me! I read the whole Bible mom, the whole Bible. You know, this is a good book!"

How sweet is that!

Happy Half Birthday Avery

Happy Half Birthday my sweet, sweet baby!

I hope you always know how much you are loved!

I hope you never lose that fiesty attitude!!

We love you so very, very much!

and baby makes 3....

So as not to leave Avery out.

Here is her latest escapade!

I'm running around putting laundry away and picking up and I notice Avery is no longer following me around.

While I enjoy the peace for a moment, I wonder what she found that's better than bugging me.

So I call, "Avery?"

"Mama!" I hear. "Mama" again.

I follow that sweet little voice to her sister Claire's room.

Voila! She's climbed up to the top bunk and is enjoying a good book!!!

She smiles at me. Completely unaware of just how lucky she is.

"Hello down there!"

To be so easily entertained!

God bless my crazy, happy Avery!

Why I do it

No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us. 1 John 4: 12.

Look at these beautiful faces. Everyday I am amazed at their beauty. What gifts!

My children remind me everyday what Love is really all about: Sacrafice, laughter, forgiveness, kindness, crafts and cookies!

My husband reminds me what it feels like to be Loved: Safe, happy, free, warm, trusted, protected, giddy and goofy!

It's so easy for me to forget about Love. I get so wrapped up in the "business of life".

Get up, get showered, get dressed, get breakfast, get going, get in, get updated, get busy, get working, get fed, get out, get home, get dinner, get clean, get jammies, get to bed!

There is so much more to life than just getting it done. I have to stop, I have to feel, I have to laugh, I have to enjoy, I have to relax, I have to love.

God does show his Love through us. Everytime my baby runs to me saying "mamama" burying her head in my legs. Everytime my Ella runs to me, dancing and twirling and laughing. Everytime my big girl turns to me and says, "mama, I love you".

What am doing to show God's love? Am I showing grace when I want to complain? Am I showing faith when I'm in doubt? Am I showing love, to all those I could be? Probably not.

But the best part... there's always tomorrow!

Gratitude

I don't know what to say. I've been so busy. I knew going back to work would be hard, but it has certainly challenged me in ways I didn't expect.
I have had many "challenging moments" in the last three weeks, but they have all been over come with the same tool.... Gratitude.

I miss my kids.
I miss being there in the morning when sweet Ella is quiet and her voice is less baby, more big kid.
I miss Claire. I miss watching her do her own hair, pack her lunch, eat her breakfast and then throw her back pack over her shoulder and run off to catch the school bus. I can't help but remember how I felt when she first started preschool or the day the bus came for the first day of Kindergarten, and I followed behind in my car all the way to the school.
I love listening to Avery talk in her crib for half and hour before I even attempt to get her up. I love sitting in her room as she laughs and plays hard-to-get in her crib.

I miss my lunches.
I miss meeting my "mommy friends" or the grammys and grampys for lunch. I love good food and good conversation with my Ella.

I miss my afternoon break.
I miss my computer time. My email and facebook time. I miss organizing my to-do lists and sifting through my papers.

I miss afterschool time.
I miss making fruit smoothies for Ella. I miss playing the crib game with Avery again at nap time. I miss the "I'm home. Can I watch a show?" greeting from my big girl.

I don't miss the constant pull on me.
I don't miss the picking up, cleaning up, wiping up, washing up and fixing up.
I don't miss the mid-day boredom or the absence of adult conversation.
I don't miss the chauffeuring.

I like my work clothes. I like my co-workers. I like my office lingo. I like my independence. I like my sense of worth that I'm helping others through my work.

My opinion of the job, the day and the moment depend on my state of Gratitude.
When I'm grateful for my opportunity I don't miss the other stuff.
When I'm grateful for my nanny I don't miss the kid stuff.
When I'm grateful for the change I can make in the world I don't miss the me stuff.

Do I wish I could have it all... sure. Who doesn't?
Do I want to give up and go back to what I know and what's comfortable...not today.

Ask me tomorrow!

Thank you to my friends and family that continue to let me blow off steam, frustration, fear and guilt. Your support means the world to me.

I have to do what??!!

Okay, so I never thought going back to work was going to be easy.
I was totally prepared for my house to fall apart without me. I expected my kids to cry every morning when I left and to be waiting by the front window for my return.
I expected my husband to call me throughout the day, just because he missed seeing me at home during his lunch, or just plain missed me.
I expected my house to fall apart, dishes everywhere, dirty clothes piled high, homework forgotten and undone.

Well...not the case.

No, that's right. My kids are fine. Yea, just fine the little boogars. They don't even bother getting up before I leave and hardly notice when I arrive home. Now, Avery does always come running for me saying "mamamama or dadadada" but then usually laughs and runs away when I go to hug her.
My husband doesn't even seem to notice my absence. If fact, I think he likes that I'm up, showered and out the door before he even gets up!!
As for the house, thanks to Rachel, just as clean and organized as ever.

No, the only thing falling apart around my house is me!
About the 4th day I realized: I have to get up every morning and go to the same place. I have to shower, dress and drive everyday! I have to look nice, sound nice and act nice everyday!

And then, I have to come home, undress and start my second job. I have to take over for Rachel. Cooking, cleaning, playing and loving.

No, going back to work isn't everything I thought it would be, but it's great none the less.

I love my freedom! I love using big words and learning new things! I love dressing up! I love conferences and working lunches! Yes, I'm a big girl now and I like it!

Don't worry I miss my mommy life too. I really miss sleeping late! I know there will be days and weeks that I wish I could go back. But I also know that is not the plan for me right now. God has given me an opportunity to make a difference, to grow and learn. I'm going to take it for all there is!

Survival of the fittest

During my morning commute, I know it's still weird to think of myself as a "commuter", I listen to 107.1, our local Christian music station. It plays great music to help me get my day started on a positive note. It also has little "uplifting moments" through out the morning. Well, the last 2 days I just happen to be in the car when the same little segment from Max Lucado was played. It was called "Survival of the fittest". I thought it very pertinent to my present life situation.

Max talked about how we live by this motto, "survival of the fittest". We work to be the biggest, best, brightest, most successful person we can be. And then, when we do accomplish something from our ever growing to do list, we take all the credit for being "the fittest". Max's point was that the credit does not go to us, it goes to God.

I like this thought and I took it further in my meditation today. I realized that so often my life is centered around this idea of "survival". I spend my days in a mad dash to get everything done just right, to be the best mom, wife, friend, employee I can be. I make lists, plans and tactical maneuvers to make sure that I not only survive my crazy day or week, but that I come out on top, the "fittest". I think that if I get everything done, organized, cleaned, completed, tucked in, and loved just perfect then I will advance to the next stage of super-mom evolution!

The problem is, that's not the point. "Survival of the fittest" is not God's plan. He doesn't want me to be super-mom or to kill myself and others trying. He wants me to be the best example of His love that day that I can be. If that means getting on the floor and rolling around with the girls, so be it. If it means leaving dirty dishes, dirty socks and dirty diapers (well, maybe not the diapers) then so be it. "Survival of the fittest" does not bring me happiness. "Survival of the faithful" does.

Everything I have today, everything I am today, is a result of the Grace of God. My job is to live each day, at home and work, like I have been given that Grace. I need to be an example of peace and serenity and love, not chaos.

Now, before my liberal friends log off and never come back, I thing Darwin was on to something! There is no doubt that we have evolved over many gazillion years and that we continue to evolve. I'm not talking science here, I'm talking faith. I can't live my faith life with the same "survival" principle that guides the sciences.

As I continue to evolve, God, let me live not to take credit for all I have, but to live in gratitude and humility for the life you have given me.

Setting boundaries

I've been hearing a lot about setting boundaries lately.

I've always believed in setting strong, clear boundaries with my children. I believe they do better when they know what to expect and when to expect it. I know that my children actually feel more loved and secure when they can't do everything they want.

Here are some of our most common boundaries:
1. No violence. Hitting, biting, pushing, etc. are not allowed in our house, by anyone.
2. Nice talking. This is a big one. We have to talk respectfully to each other. That means that Dave and I don't yell or cuss at each other, really, we actually don't! The girls are also expected to talk nicely. Please and thank you, of course. But also we watch our tone. That is such a hard one, especially for me, but again, we have clear boundaries on what is expected and if that boundary is broken, there is a consequence.
3. Routine. We eat at the same time. We finish are food and take our dishes to the sink. We go to bed at the same time. When it's bedtime we pick up, jammies, teeth and book. There are no exceptions, there is also no whining because we've established the rule and it doesn't change.
4. Friends. This is a new one for us. As the girls grow older we are beginning to establish some boundaries with friends. How often we can "go out". How long friends can come over. Finishing homework before after school playing. I'm sure we will develop many more boundaries over the next few years.

I'm also starting to notice that I have to set boundaries in other areas of my life as well. As I head off to my new job tomorrow, yes tomorrow! I see that boundaries are important in many areas of my life.

1. Our super nanny is moving in! We are all excited, but it has provided us with another opportunity to set boundaries. More for her sake than ours! : )
2. Work. I know that I'll need to set boundaries about how much I can and can't do. I tend to take on way more than I probably should.
3. Home. That is going to be a big one for me. I can not be super mom! I can't expect the house to be perfectly clean and picked up every night before I go to bed. I can't expect the laundry always to be done, the floors mopped, the girls rooms clean and get 8 hours of sleep every night. Something will have to give. I have to set boundaries on what I can do, what I need help with, and what I just have to let go.

Boundaries: they're tough. They remind us that we're not perfect. Life's not perfect. We have to make choices. We need to identify what is truly important in our life and what is superficial.

I don't know if I always set the right boundaries, or if I always will. I do know that God allows for room to learn. He is there, setting the ultimate boundaries, with his love and sacrifice for us. All I need do is trust and try to live within those boundaries.

New job

I am very happy to announce that I have accepted a position with GEAR UP Iowa. GEAR UP Iowa is a 16.8 million dollar education grant to be used to create college-going cultures in low-income communities. We are going to try to increase the number of Iowa kids heading off to college!
It is a great grant and I am very excited to be a part of it. This is exactly the kind of job I was hoping to get someday when I went off to grad school 5 years ago. It looks like I'm going to working with a great group of people, so I have a lot to look forward to.

So, that means I need to turn the running of this ship over to someone else... meet Rachel!
Rachel is our awesome, talented, smart, kind, funny, loving, caring, hard-working, God-sent, wonderful nanny! We love her! She not only loves our girls, but she shows it! She plays with them, sings with them and creates with them! We are truly blessed to have her! She is going to be running this ship now, caring for the girls and the house, and probably me a little along the way!

I know that things will change, and I look forward to it. I look forward to the challenges and the rewards.
I ask for your continued prayers and support as my family and I walk through this transition. With God (and family and friends!) all things are possible.

Uninspired

I've missed you old friend. It's been too long since we've talked. Yes, I mean you, my blog.

Yes, it has been awhile since I've posted. I realized that I have been quite uninspired lately. Nothing is catching my eye. I'm not noticing the cute stuff, the fun stuff, the unique stuff, nothing really. Except the daily stuff. The cleaning, cooking (okay, maybe not much cooking!), bathing, driving, etc. I've allowed myself to fall back into that rut, that stick my head down and plow ahead rut, that I worked so hard to get out of!

When I began my blogging life, it was to encourage myself to take pleasure in the ordinary. To notice the small joys my children so wonderfully appreciate. I wanted to stop and smell the flowers. I wanted to make a conscience effort to enjoy being a mom, wife and friend and not just trudge through life "getting things done".

So, I'm back! Back with my watchful eye and grateful heart.


What's new? I spent the night with my 4 year old, holding her hair back as she threw up. Then I had to get up in the morning, even though I was tired, and go to work. Where I plastered on a smile and helped wherever I could. How blessed am I?? Very!

As Ella and I layed there together, me rubbing her arm, her breathing softly, she leaned closer, spooned up against me and said, "thank you mommy, I feel much better now. I hope I always throw up in your room."


And, as tears welled up in my eyes, I said, "me too honey, me too."


Everyday that I get to spoon my girls, everyday that I get to be the one holding their hair back, is a day that God has given me more than I could ever have prayed for.

Swim Party

Thanks to Grandpa and Grandma Johnson
for a wonderful swim weekend!
We experienced the Adventureland Swim Park

for the first time. What an awesome time!

My little fish loved it!

Ella was as cute as ever. Being the least experienced of my fish,
she chose to keep her water wings on the WHOLE time.

Now, one of the pools was only 1 1/2 feet deep,

but that didn't stop her!

However, she was braver than usual

when it came to the water slides.

She went down all of them!

Claire, my big fish, loved it. She had her goggles and she was off.

Claire loves to swim. I think she is the most comfortable

when she is in water!

Her favorite part was the big water slide and

bellying up to the pool side bar for a smoothie.

Oh no! We're in trouble!!

Avery couldn't get enough of the water.
She is definitely going to follow in Big Fish's

fin prints! Her first reaction was hesitation.

She walked out to the pool area with her

usual furrowed brow. But, it didn't take her

more than 5 minutes to start putting her face

in and splashing and laughing!

Avery soon discovered that jumping in was her favorite.

She would beg and beg to put up on the side and then

she would hold on to your fingers and "jump" in!

She'd laugh and laugh and the beg for more.

She was so cold and shivering, but loved it none the less.

As for mom and dad, we just loved being able to relax with our girls. We loved watching them swim and play and laugh and splash. We enjoyed hanging out with G and G and Jamie. It was so much fun to play games and eat and eat and eat!

It was truly a wonderful weekend and we thank you!

Put her in a bottle!

"God, Thank you for sending Jesus down to us. Thank you for my webkinz. Thank you for all the food and clothes and stuff you give us. Thank you for making all the stuff you make to give us this perfect world. Thank you for this perfect life and this perfect world. I love you God. Thank you for fixing our car door. You make us a perfect life and a perfect world and we love you so much. Amen." Said Ella tonight in her beautiful, sweet, soft little voice.

She makes me want to be a better person. She makes me want to be the kind of person who always sees the good in others. The kind of person who stops to help a stranger with the door, who offers a smile to anyone walking her way, who always remembers to send that card that means so much.

She makes me want to journal. To record every kind and beautiful thing I see and experience. To take notice when my 7 year old holds my hand for no reason, or pats my back as she walks by. To save the scribbles my 16 month old makes on the Costco receipt that I gave her just to keep her quiet and that she somehow found a pen and marked all over.

She makes me want to live in constant gratitude to a God who is perfect. A God who cares for us perfectly, right where we are. A God who does provide so generously to me and my family. A God who loves me even more than I can love my children, and today, that is a lot!!!

*Side note* In regards to God "fixing" our car. Here's the story. The girls and I were at the Y last night for swim team. We pulled in, parked and tried to open the passenger sliding door. Nothing. Wouldn't open. It just made this terrible sound. Of course, we weren't early, so we headed in and prayed that the door would be better when we came back out. After practice, we get to the car, push the magical little door open button, nothing. Door still won't open. So I get all 3 kids in through Avery's side, get everyone buckled and throw it in reverse to get out... Beep, Beep, Beep. My car's lovely safety device goes off. If a door is open, even partially, a loud, obnoxious beep goes off until you put it in park. Then, the interior lights start flickering on and off because this door is apparently half shut, half open. So I stop, get out, try to push the door shut and try to leave again. Still with the beeping. So I let out a sigh and apparently a "oh God please" or something to that effect. I try to call Dave twice, no answer, so I push the door open/close button again with my eyes closed... it opens!!! Then shuts soundly and the beeping stops. And Ella exclaims, "God fixed our door Mommy!!!".

"Yes, honey, he did!", I say with a smile.

Watch what you wish for...

Happy 16 month Birthday, Avery!

Our baby is 16 months old today! I can't believe how fast the time has gone. I know we all say that, but I really can't. I can so vividly remember being pregnant with Avery, and the days and months right after she was born. She was such a sweet, sweet baby. Oh, how I miss those days!

I've been anxiously waiting for my little bug to start walking. I've been complaining about her delayed development in this area, and concerned about her stubbornness in achieving this milestone. Well, apparently God knew what he was doing because, she's walking... and she's twice as much trouble now!! But she's also twice as cute!! I love watching her explore on those two wobbly little legs. What a doll!

The Rousehouse started a new tradition tonight, "Family Wii night". We ordered pizza and played Wii all night long! What a great night! Dave and I raced each other in Mario Cart ( I won ), we all played 2 games of bowling ( Ella and I won ) and Claire and I played tennis ( Claire won ). We had so much fun. Avery walked all over the place, playing in the playroom and on the steps ( of course! ). It was one of those nights that you always picture in your head, when dreaming of the perfect family night. Everyone laughing and getting along. Ella congratulating everyone and giving high fives. Claire laughing and cheering and scowling ( she's quite competitive, I don't know where she gets that! ). Dave and I just simply enjoying our kids.

Isn't that what's it's all about. I know that we all say it, but how often do we do it? How often do we really just stop and play? I know that it is getting easier and more frequent for us. That is yet another blessing that this last year has brought us... a new found desire to spend time together. To slow down and enjoy the moment.

Thank you God for our beautiful Avery. Thank you for making her strong and independent. Thank you for the gift of family. You have blessed our house and our lives with good friends, family and fun.