There are these moments, as a mother, that I take for granted. Things I do everyday, day after day, sometimes with irritation, sometimes with no thought at all. Things that I assume I'll be doing forever, or don't even remember a time when I don't do them. But, the reality is, I won't do them forever.
There will come a time when I won't brush my girls' rats nest every morning, only to have them put on stocking caps and get all frizzy again.
There will come a time when I won't open the dryer to find 101 tiny socks and pants and shirts waiting to be folded and distributed.
There will come a time when I won't make Mac n' Cheese one more time that week.
There will come a time when I won't line up backpacks, and lunch boxes, and snow pants, and boots, and hats, and gloves by the door each night.
There will come a time when I won't tuck Claire in.
I tuck Claire in every night. I don't tuck Ella in every night. I don't tuck Avery in every night. But Claire, she needs to see me every night. It's the same thing. I come in, tell her to shut off the light and put the book away. We say prayers, I check under her bed, I kiss her forehead, pat her bum and say, "I love you baby. See you in the morning." and she says, "I love you mom. Send Daddy in."
Every night it's the same thing. And if she gets up to go to the bathroom, she needs me to do it again. Every time.
Claire is the oldest. She is the most independent. She is my good night girl.
I do this every night, sometimes in the middle of the night. I do it absentmindedly or even irritated at times, but I do it every night.
There will come a night, and I probably won't notice it the first time or the second or the fifth, but there will come a night when Claire sets down her book, shuts off her light, rolls over and goes to sleep. And I won't be there kissing her on the forehead. I'll be somewhere in the house, unaware at that moment that my baby grew up.
I hope when I do realize it I sneak in and steal just one more kiss.
Until then, I'm going to cherish the mundane. I'm going to cherish every kiss, every pat, every goodnight and every second call.
Parenting is so hard, and so great, and so fast. I hope I never forget.
