Setting boundaries

I've been hearing a lot about setting boundaries lately.

I've always believed in setting strong, clear boundaries with my children. I believe they do better when they know what to expect and when to expect it. I know that my children actually feel more loved and secure when they can't do everything they want.

Here are some of our most common boundaries:
1. No violence. Hitting, biting, pushing, etc. are not allowed in our house, by anyone.
2. Nice talking. This is a big one. We have to talk respectfully to each other. That means that Dave and I don't yell or cuss at each other, really, we actually don't! The girls are also expected to talk nicely. Please and thank you, of course. But also we watch our tone. That is such a hard one, especially for me, but again, we have clear boundaries on what is expected and if that boundary is broken, there is a consequence.
3. Routine. We eat at the same time. We finish are food and take our dishes to the sink. We go to bed at the same time. When it's bedtime we pick up, jammies, teeth and book. There are no exceptions, there is also no whining because we've established the rule and it doesn't change.
4. Friends. This is a new one for us. As the girls grow older we are beginning to establish some boundaries with friends. How often we can "go out". How long friends can come over. Finishing homework before after school playing. I'm sure we will develop many more boundaries over the next few years.

I'm also starting to notice that I have to set boundaries in other areas of my life as well. As I head off to my new job tomorrow, yes tomorrow! I see that boundaries are important in many areas of my life.

1. Our super nanny is moving in! We are all excited, but it has provided us with another opportunity to set boundaries. More for her sake than ours! : )
2. Work. I know that I'll need to set boundaries about how much I can and can't do. I tend to take on way more than I probably should.
3. Home. That is going to be a big one for me. I can not be super mom! I can't expect the house to be perfectly clean and picked up every night before I go to bed. I can't expect the laundry always to be done, the floors mopped, the girls rooms clean and get 8 hours of sleep every night. Something will have to give. I have to set boundaries on what I can do, what I need help with, and what I just have to let go.

Boundaries: they're tough. They remind us that we're not perfect. Life's not perfect. We have to make choices. We need to identify what is truly important in our life and what is superficial.

I don't know if I always set the right boundaries, or if I always will. I do know that God allows for room to learn. He is there, setting the ultimate boundaries, with his love and sacrifice for us. All I need do is trust and try to live within those boundaries.

New job

I am very happy to announce that I have accepted a position with GEAR UP Iowa. GEAR UP Iowa is a 16.8 million dollar education grant to be used to create college-going cultures in low-income communities. We are going to try to increase the number of Iowa kids heading off to college!
It is a great grant and I am very excited to be a part of it. This is exactly the kind of job I was hoping to get someday when I went off to grad school 5 years ago. It looks like I'm going to working with a great group of people, so I have a lot to look forward to.

So, that means I need to turn the running of this ship over to someone else... meet Rachel!
Rachel is our awesome, talented, smart, kind, funny, loving, caring, hard-working, God-sent, wonderful nanny! We love her! She not only loves our girls, but she shows it! She plays with them, sings with them and creates with them! We are truly blessed to have her! She is going to be running this ship now, caring for the girls and the house, and probably me a little along the way!

I know that things will change, and I look forward to it. I look forward to the challenges and the rewards.
I ask for your continued prayers and support as my family and I walk through this transition. With God (and family and friends!) all things are possible.